The Long And Winding Road...

Siempre que te pregunto
Que cuándo cómo y dónde
Tú siempre me respondes
Quizás, quizás, quizás

Y así pasan los días
Y yo desesperando
Y tú, tú, contestando
Quizás, quizás, quizás,

Estás perdiendo el tiempo
Pensando, pensando
Por lo que más tú quieras
Hasta cuando, hasta cuando

Y así pasan los días
Y yo desesperando
Y tú, tú contestando
Quizás, quizás, quizás

"God bless silent pain and happiness"

The weather is very nice in UK these days, something over 20 degrees during the afternoon. The days are already long and beautiful. It was nice to stay back these days. I saw the transformation of the city, from the cold weather from the 1st days to people laying in the grass latter on.
crazy thought
"Green grass, blue eyes, gray sky..."

For all the thing I was supposed to do I did not manage to make them all. I kept the focus on the main ones. I am writing these during my trip to Oxford to talk with Vasile. In the end of the day it sounds as i will really return there for a while.

My stomach has suffered a lot. Yesterday night, at about 9pm in UK time, was literally the hell. It is calming down slowly.

The conference in Grece promisses to be good even though i did not manage to give my best this time. The combination of poor resources, crazy thoughts and deep stomachache made the challenge harder. In the end i did not struggle as i should, but the little i did was well done.

It was very nice to live with Newton in the end. Very reliable friend... It is a bit sad that i left it in the middle, but pleasant that every thing went on fine and smoothly (not that smooth ).

So, now i am skecthing the last details of my masterplan. This is being designed to include a interesting trade-off between personal and proffessional life. This will probably be decomposed in phases, while phase 1 will probably take 2 years... Here i am on the road again...

Even though i am sure i will come to london many more times in life, i wont live here anymore. This is one phase lived. I was remind these days that the plan was to live in Londn and Paris. I have also applied to a job in Paris in 2006 but i did not get it. It happens sometimes...

Indeed, it is not all bad. This can poit to things, one you are under qualified, or two, you are over qualified. Smart managers would hire neither of them. Over qualified people are as bad as under qualified, of couse, exceptions exist.

I think i should be writing about more relevant things. Deeper thoughts. But i try to keep myself shallow. In the end, i keep myself in the shadow of the old Douglas. It is somethig that is pretty much scaring me know, i cant beat me the old doulgas.  I dont look as young a b4. I dont have the same energy.

Shadows, Shallows, Deepen, Apologies, Concerns...

In the end what comes to my mind is only LET IT BE....

In the end we just know ourselves when we are exposed to extreme situations. In this moment we can really evaluate our strengths and weaknesses. This way I do believe that living, moreover, understanding the hard moments are the olny path to self understanding. This is the reason I do not avoid the roller-coasters. This is why i am a ridder on the storm.

Self understanding is one of the necessary conditions the ever lasting happiness.

"I am wondering round and round, nowhere to go
I am lonely in London, London is lovely so...

... I am lonely in London without fear

While my eyes go looking for flying saucres in the sky..."

"I'ts alright, it's alright, I say. Take anything you want from me. Anything..."

I returned to the front of that door after so many months. Everything was about the same. The could and dark weather, the children playing downstairs.

I watch them playing while i sing 'As tears go by'. About the same.

The room, even though now Newton's room, is also about the same. I have to say he has done a pretty nice job taking care of the things.

We played some songs. A bit worse it is true, but pretty much the same.

I still have the same mobile number. I use the same oyster card. Yes, the same nice leather jacket i bought somewhere in oxford.

Everything is pretty much the same.

Everything but Claire. This time there was no Claire, and it made all the difference...

Here i am, on the road again...
here i am , upon the stage...

Entao, daqui a pocuos instantes comeca mais uma viagem, e de novo, diferente das anteriores. Na primeira era tudo desconhecido, na segunda, me encontrei com o conhecido, e agora o conhecido desconhecido me espera. Da primeira vez fui para ficar um tempao. Da segunda fui sem planos de voltar. Agora dou um pulinho e volto...

Algumas coisas serao iguais, outras diferentes.

O meu estomago ainda aches, foram meses muitos dificieis...

Serao exatamente 6 meses de dia q sai de Londres. O tempo estara similar, frio, mas agora indo apra o quente, nao indo para o mais frio...

bom, tenho q ir... muito a pensar, mas o farei no tempo de voo...

Taht is all folks...

douglas

It is only self-deceiving...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HKnxmkOAj88&feature=related

i've seen your flag on the marble arch, but love is not a victory march...