Now I am sleeping a bit better than before. Sometimes I can even sleep during the whole night. Usually I stay in bed for quite long, but with my mind switched-on.
One of these days a friend of my said: “Douglas, the man who does not sleep to think…” It was pretty nice since the cause and the effect are switched.
As I wrote in the first line, I am sleeping better. It is true that, sometimes, the mind get a bit fuzzy. All the drawings I make inside it get blurred. Nonetheless, they keep a bit of their shape. Would it be a 1st sketch of the next steps?!
Something I learnt with time, the poet was right; lying to yourself is always the worst lie. So, sometimes, I have to accept the sadness. I cannot lie to myself. Accepting it can sound like weakness, but it is a way to not deepen it. In the end is better to be in a cave than in a cage…
I mean, it is strange for me, to not say stupid, to attack the effects, not the causes. People often get confused about them. We are so afraid of unhappiness that we fake ourselves. And finally we became so phony!!!
Ok Lord, please don’t let me be misunderstood…
In the end of the day we have to understand and accept we are not as other people. Lol, even though some are more standardized than others, we still keep some uniqueness. So, what we like, dislike, accept may be different for another person. Something may be similar.
It is a common sense among the folks, don’t do to the others what you would not like to be done to you. It is true to some extend, but it ignore that people are different in their nature. Some needs peace, other dynamic. Some are slow… other fast… I, Douglas, am pretty much slow and dynamic? Does it make any sense?
For some what matter is love, others sex. For some love and sex are the same dam thing!!!
So in many moments of my life I try to keep my mind “beyond God and Evil”. In a pragmatic view feasible and unfeasible would be more adequate. But, as would say the best poet I have ever read, Drummond, the impossible is ourselves. So, feasibility is strongly connected to us, and our desires… (maybe another day I should write a bit about necessary and sufficient conditions in the math sense).
I don’t really have a masterplan, as I claimed in a former post, but, for the ones who know me well I am better improvising. I prefer the stage than the studio. I never re-write my ideas. I keep them as they are in the birth. I cannot draw a line, I do not know why, I never could.
I make the science my poetry
And my poetry, my science
One love, the other, affair
Switching their places throughout out life
