Back on the track

Dear blog (it sounds rather gay);

Last days were quite confusing. Some events quite weird indeed. Professionally things are still fuzzy and blurry. I do not have a clue of my future from the next year on. Nevertheless, it sounds promising.

I keep on playing, one of my deepest and more honest love. We are recording the next Deuk’s CD. It does not mater if it will turn out a good CD, it matters that we have good fun doing it, and that we love music. Loving is beyond pragmatism.

I used to think I do understand people rather well, but I do have to accept, looking back to the events taken place in the last months, that I do not understand at all. Or maybe, observing an event changes the event itself, as in quantum physics.

This overconfident, maybe arrogant, self view was due to a couple of factor. I observe things. I have lived many. But I am logical, and in the end, people do not tend to be logical, even the logical ones.

It is quite strange anyways…

I received an email from an old fellow this week. He was talking about many issues, and one, that took my attention was a comment about his bride. He told, “she brings me peace”. Interesting, peace. In the end we are all looking to a safe haven. It is about the same thing with Tulio and his future wife Patricia. She made him a quite man.

It is true, in this issue I do go well. It does not matter the approach, it just sounds as I cannot succeed. Only that. Strange, because sometimes I try hard, but people do not believe me.

This is an interesting point, even tough I do no lie, I take it as a philosophy of life, “people” tend to not believe me. Of couse, only “people”! it does not happen with my family and friends. They do trust me deeply.

This week was not good, even though I was quite, I kept myself safe inside my shell. I work, teach, think about some solutions of my family problems, and stay quite, alone most of the time. But I found, I disturb people even when I do not disturb. Strange…

Even though I consider it was a slow year I have learnt a lot, and surely, I took some important decisions, as the one of not taking some decisions!!!

Not doing is as important as doing, the silence is as vital as the sound. We are made of both, silence and sound, love and hate. They do stroll together, holding hands!!!

Thus, I am re-starting myself, something like ctrl+alt+del! It takes time sometimes, but I found it necessary. I got to my limit with all that burden I was caring in my shoulder.  

My level of concentration is reasonably low. Beyond the acceptable threshold. It is spring, and there is no flowers in the window, the three little birds do not sing at my doorstep anymore. I think it is why I like the autumn, we do not expect much from it. Expecting is probably one of the main sources of frustration and sadness.

From the autumn, we know, that it will always get worse, till it become a cold and dark winter. However, luckily, it may not be as colder or darker…

In the winter the sun is not real…

Now I am 28, almost 29. the last turning point in my life took place at about one year ago, when parents almost died. I had to change, forged!

Forging is a process to give form by heating and hammering. Beat into shape! Forging is brute force. Finally, I am sort of result of brute forces…

Looking from October last year, while I was still in London, till today so many things have changed. Professionally I have advanced in large leaps… from that date I had 8 articles accepted in journals, which is almost have of my top end production.

I have traveled a lot. On the top of commuting Belo Horizonte-Vitoria, I have been to Sao Paulo, Uk, Greece, and I am soon going to USA. USA…

This trip to north America is also a turning point. The world is changing and I am looking for brand new opportunities. It does not mean I am gonna work there, somehow is still prefer UK.

But it is interesting, I am afraid of sadness in UK. Even in Oxford. I love the city. I get well with the boss, but it scares me anymore. Will the wind ever remember the names it has blown in the past? I do not know…

I am listening Dire Straits, the song Why Worry. There should be laughter after pain? Sunshine after rain?

It is the moment I am better with myself since some point in the middle of 2005. I really do no know how did I get to this stage. Especially because I am not fine with the external world, there are too many driven forces expelling me from my aims. These last days were not really like this, I lost myself a bit, but I am managing to keep cool.

As most of the things I want to fix I just cannot, I am firing in the ones I believe I do. They are not many. And some, not even so relevant. I am not very attached to money and career, even though I do agree they are important building blocks in life.

It is already a long post and I did not managed to say what I really want to. Now I see I do not even know the question, so, no way to get an answer.

So, I let the fate take me by the hand and lead me wherever I should go. (Even tough I still do believe that kisses are the best fate.)

That is (not) all;

Douglas

One of the first things that I have learnt about capitalism is that it must oscillate, between growing and recessions. It appears normally in the model. However, a good economy is the one that these recessions are not deep. It is only achievable given an smooth curve, in their overall extended, thus, the growing must also be smooth.

Remind a post I wrote earlier on this year about China, I said that the inflation of China, and some other developing countries, would interfere in the global economy strongly. It has interfered in a positive way during the last 5 years, strong growth followed by low inflation. A gold age in the global economy.

As it has flew so high, now the situation is the inverse, low growth, or even recession, with high inflation, what the economists are calling the staginflation.

This is by itself a unique and unusual moment in the economy. The crisis is beyond the fundaments, it extend to the concepts.

There were many crises in the world during the last century. Some were almost forgotten, some will never be. The remarkable are the ones which changes the concepts behind the structure. Would it be this one like this? Hard to know.

Come on in
I’ve gotta tell you what a state I’m in
I’ve gotta tell you in my loudest tones
I started looking for a warning sign

When the truth is, I miss you
Yeah the truth is, that I miss you, so

A warning sign
You came back to haunt me and I realized
That you were an island and I passed you by
And you were an island to discover

Come on in
I’ve gotta tell you what a state I’m in
I’ve gotta tell you in my loudest tones
That I started looking for a warning sign

When the truth is, I miss you
Yeah the truth is, that I miss you so
And I’m tired I should not have let you go

Ooooooooooooooooo

So I crawl back into your open arms
Yes I crawl back into your open arms
And I crawl back into your open arms
Yes I crawl back into your open arms

Alguem interessada? (women please)

One thing I notice these days is the lack of mathematical abilities of many people, and therefore, their misunderstandings in the stock game.

Ok. Going up 10% is not the same than going down 10%! Most of people would think, straight, that a share that has risen 10% and after fallen another 10% returned to the original value. Let take an example:

Today, you bought a share DAGV4 for R$10  (the brazilian currency). It has risen 10% after you bought, therefore, the market valuation in end was R$11.

However, in the following day it fells another 10%. 10% of R$11 is R$1.1, thus, you finished the day with R$9.9!

Nevertheless, after you have lost a significant amount of money, falling high % is not very relevant.

So, after you are wet, enjoy the pouring rain…(ok, ok, storm in the current case…)

Têm varias coisas que me desanimam na pesquisa no Brasil, uma delas, sem duvidas, é a falta de grana!!!

Tive meu pedido de recursos para a viagem dos EUA, rejeitados tanto pela CAPES tanto pela FAPEMIG. Em resumo, eles dizem que a proposta é boa e bla-bla-bla, mas dada a alta demanda…

Bom, ta parecendo que terei que tirar do meu bolso parte significativa destes custos, uma merda!!!

Assim desanima, e me leva a pensar em sair do Brasil, de novo.